Dave Allikas Comedian from East Windsor, NJ

Dave Allikas, Comedy Singer Top 10 reasons to book Dave Allikas for your next event! 1. With over 300 original comedy songs and parodies, Dave crafts each show to its intended audience. 2. Lyrics to all songs are projected on a screen--great for hearing impaired adults, and attention-span-impaired teens! Also, it makes singing along easy. 3. Dave also projects videos of many of his songs, doubling the fun. 4. Dave excels at getting the audience involved! One example: his one-minute “Guess the Punchline” songs, where he pauses before the last line and challenges the audience to guess it. 5. Another example: Dave loves taking requests! Want to hear a song about strip malls? Or baseball? Or a medley of Frank Sinatra parodies? With his extensive repertoire, there are few requests he can’t fill! 6. Dave also has original non-comedy songs which he will intersperse on occasion to add variety--what you might call “dramatic relief”. 7. Every word of every song Dave sings is original and copyrighted. So, you will NOT hear the same tired jokes that pass from comedian to comedian. 8. Dave’s songs continue the tradition of such great comedy song writers as Tom Lehrer, Alan Sherman, and Stephen Sondheim. All his rhymes are “perfect” (line/mine, not line/Mike), same as on Broadway. Lots of word wizardry, with double and triple rhymes, internal rhymes, puns, and double entendres (see samples below)! 9. Dave has a long pedigree as a comedy writer, having been a regular contributor to the “Big Four” humor magazines of the previous century--MAD, Cracked, Crazy, and Sick (the only writer to be published in all four), as well as Marvel, DC, and Archie Comics. Also, he wrote comedy lyrics for The Muppets and the Greaseman radio program. 10. Once you’ve heard Dave, you’ll hire him again and again. Not so with a comic who will mostly repeat the same routine you heard the first time. Dave has so much material that you can book him 20 times and never hear the same song twice, except by choice! Excerpts from Dave’s 2009 release on Yuk Records, Songs You Wish You’d Written, can be heard on Youtube. Or peruse the lyrics below and decide whether Dave offers the best possible value for your entertainment dollar. We’re pretty sure we’ll be hearing from you! From “50 Ways to Love Your Liver”: The problem is while we all pretend to dig the stuff It’s actually vile; but if you doctor it enough To choke it down and even like it’s not so tough There must be 50 ways to love your liver From “Black in the US of A” Blew in from Al‘bammy, near-DOA; we Couldn’t get a room last night Every place was full, though most said “VACANCY” On a four-foot neon light We’re black in the US of A Where whites get to screw you and say “boy” Black in the US of A From “Try To Remember”: Try to remember when right through December Your bedroom wall would sport a bunny March, June, November; each month, you remember, Was some hot babe; that memory, sonny, Is just an ember; your wife would dismember You now if you tried pinning up a honey Like Miss September; so sadly remember And wallow. From “I Don’t Get the Blues” I don’t get the blues, why its fans all swoon I don’t get the blues, why its fans all swoon To 90,000 songs with the same damned tune. I don’t get the blues, they sing the first line twice I don’t get the blues, they sing the first line twice As little as it says, why doesn’t once suffice? From “A Boy Named Montague” Well, my parents were part of that high-toned crowd Where naming boys John was not allowed There were Ethans and Aidans and Bryces by the slew But my dad put all his friends to shame When he sold my mom on my first name: “It’s a boy,” he said; “Let’s call him Montague.” From “Mr. Trampoline Man” Hey Mr. Trampoline Man, set it up for me, By the swingset my kids never dream of going near Hey Mr. Trampoline Man, set it up for me, Right beside the pool they use like clockwork once every year. From “Love Thy Neighbor” You said “love thy neighbor,” Lord, right there in Matthew chapter 22 And I want to love my neighbor, Lord, but can’t, because you’ve made the act taboo With commandment 7, banning you-know-what; so, please suspend it, that I might Be free to love my neighbor unadulteratedly; least, for tonight. From “Amway”: And now, the soap, I see Is overpriced and second-rate, too My friends won’t speak to me I stuck them with it by the crate, too As well as folks I’d meet On every bus and train and tramway Though most would scream and run When they heard “Amway.” From “Lawn in the USA”: I own lots of cribs, it’s known, From LA to Jersey; so I don’t condone Closing our borders; yes, there’s a glut Of illegals; but I need hundreds to cut my Lawn in the USA. From “Thank God For Dogs” If it weren’t for dogs did you ever think No one would make too big a stink If you fell into the drink; Thank God for dogs.

• Water Over the Bridge | Dave Allikas
• Wedding Bill Blues | Dave Allikas
• Ballroom Brawler | Dave Allikas
• Tenth Ring of Hell | Dave Allikas
• 50 Is the New 49 | Dave Allikas
• How Late Thou Art | Dave Allikas
• The Worldwide Conspiracy Against Me | Dave Allikas
• Everybody Was T’ai Chi Fighting | Dave Allikas
• I Got It Good, and That Ain’t Bad | Dave Allikas
• Life Is Like a Sitcom | Dave Allikas
• Sex in the Seventies | Dave Allikas
• Last Words of Rock Stars | Dave Allikas
• Show Tunes for Real Guys | Dave Allikas
• A Better Wife Through Technology | Dave Allikas
• The Medley of John and Yoko | Dave Allikas
• World With No Euphemisms | Dave Allikas
• Rock and Roll Hell | Dave Allikas
• CCR's Lost Love Songs | Dave Allikas
• My Yiddish-a-Rama | Dave Allikas
• Everyone Out of the Gene Pool | Dave Allikas
• Adam and Steve | Dave Allikas
• When God Gave Satan a Second Chance | Dave Allikas
• ...And hundreds more! | All by Dave Allikas